FATHERHOOD FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF ST. JOSEPH.
Definition Of The Key Words In The Topic.
For a quick understanding of the topic we will define father before we get to Fatherhood.
WHO IS A FATHER?
1. Father is man in relation to his child or children, (Oxford dictionary.)
2. Father is a male parent, or a man who has begotten a child.
A. FATHERHOOD.
Fatherhood is a state of being a father, the state or responsibility of being a father ; paternity. 2. the qualities or character of a father.
We see Fatherhood as a responsibility a man accepts the moment he got married and welcomes a life (child). A responsibility aimed at intentionally fulfilling God’s Intension for family life.
Fatherhood starts once a man becomes a father of a child or children biologically and or by adoption.
B. From The Perspective Of:
As one views or interprets a certain situation or something. a particular way of viewing things that depends on one’s experience and personality.
C. ST. JOSEPH.
A Jewish man of Nazareth, married to Mary, a legal father of Jesus Christ.
From the above definitions, our discussion will be based on the implication of Fatherhood using St. Joseph as a Model.
Background.
From the children or a lay person point of view, we see Joseph as ordinary wood maker,( a carpenter, a craftsman, furniture maker) (Matthew 13:54-56) and the earthly father of Jesus Christ. However, it goes beyond these if we pay attention to details about the role St. Joseph played as a Father to the child Jesus, consequently, God used him to teach us what ideal Fatherhood entails in his agenda for the marriage institution and thus presents him as a role model. Hence, Fatherhood from the perspective of St. Joseph, is reflecting on the life of a man who sacrificed so much by accepting to Father a son, because God willed it so.
The Bible pays Joseph the highest compliment (He was a just man) and highlights qualities that are particular to Fatherhood; these Fatherhood traits in St. Joseph as a Model for all fathers include:
1. SACRIFICIAL LOVE
2. FAITH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS
3. HUMILITY
4. OBEDIENCE
5. PRAYER
6. DILIGENCE
7. EDUCATION/HOME MENTORING
8. ADOPTIVE FATHER
9. A FATHER SHOULD BE KIND, COMPASSIONATE, MERCIFUL AND FORGIVING.
1. A FATHER SHOULD LOVE SACRIFICIALLY.
Joseph defied the odds in his time, and took Mary on a very long and difficult journey in the ninth month of her pregnancy to Bethlehem, their ancestral town in obedience to law for the census (Luke 2:1). He was on foot while Mary was helped on a donkey. Later, he flew to Egypt with baby Jesus and the mother when King Herod decreed that all children be killed in order to terminate the life of Jesus (Matthew 2:13). That journey to Egypt was around 300 miles, and took about 30 days amidst the desert. He walked and treaded dirty, muddy, rough and unknown roads. Then, in the wintertime in Egypt, the Holy Family had to live in the snow, heavy rains and winds. For the sake of love, Joseph became a refugee in another land.
Like Joseph, fatherly love for a child right from conception is paramount. Thus, sacrificial love means taking a risk for the person you love. A good father must do whatever is possible to ensure that his family are protected from harm. Most fathers these days are not getting it right and should adopt Joseph as a model.
2. A FATHER SHOULD PRACTICE FAITH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.
The scripture says that faith without work is vain. (James 2) Faith is honouring God and people; faith is also integrity and responsibility. Faith for Joseph is obedience and trust in God. His faith can be appraised in the way he followed God’s intervention in dreams on his marriage and the baby Jesus. His answers were yes and no argument. The life of the humble and faithful Joseph influenced the life of his son, Jesus; children learn faster by watching what their parents do. Today, most fathers don’t practice what they believe in. Let fathers learn from the faith of St. Joseph. If you are a manufacturer, people will value your worth by your product.
How does your faith affect your child or children?
The scripture says Joseph was “a righteous man. ”That means he was obedient to the Torah, the law of Moses. It was in keeping with the law that he considered to break the engagement with Mary secretly and bear the shame if not for God’s intervention through dream. As a father, how do you handle difficult and confusing situations in your parenting? You cannot give what you don’t have to your children. A good father should practice his faith daily like Joseph. An old adage says ‘when the mother goat chews the cud her kids always watch’. Practical Christianity is needed in our fatherhood to form the character of the young ones right from cradle like St. Joseph.
3. HUMILITY.
Joseph humbled himself to actively and bravely do the will of God against his will and showed his faithfulness through his actions rather than his words; his voice was never heard on the streets , he never boasted about what he did for Mary, Jesus or God, he never quarrelled or boasted of being father of the saviour. A good father must not always insist on his rights especially when obedience to the contrary will yield a more positive result. Openness to God is one of his key attributes worth emulating by all fathers. Today it’s difficult to see the likes of St. Joseph, the worst of it is that most fathers subtly showcase their exploits on the public domain, the internet. To father such a wonderful child like Jesus would not have been possible without letting the whole world know our efforts.
4. OBEDIENCE.
Real obedience precludes the use of force or coercion to command respect. St. Joseph as a father was naturally an obedient servant of God. Fathers should teach their children obedience by being obedient themselves. It was one of the ideal attributes of St. Joseph which must have affected the character of Jesus. Joseph was obedient to the law of Moses and the law and culture of his land which was evident when he took Mary for census. He also obeyed God’s messages through the angel. No wonder the scripture says Jesus was obedient to his parents (Luke 2: 51). Jesus was obedient to his parents as the parents were obedient to God.
5. PRAYER.
Prayer is the key. It’s likely that Jesus copied the prayer life of Joseph his father. The Jews are prayerful people and Joseph as one must have turned to God in prayer for help and guidance in his predicament especially when he discovered that Mary was pregnant. It was a big storm, and God intervened and gave him divine direction through dreams . Fathers like Joseph should take prayer very serious if they must succeed in their vocation. Therefore, any man, without a strongly rooted spirit in God will make mistakes or fail. Also, overcoming temptation is not easy for prayerless fathers. St. Joseph prevailed over temptation and sin, remaining chaste and pure in heart, mind, and body; a virtue lacking in most fathers of our time. May God help us. As fathers our prayer altars must be lighted all the time especially now that darkness is covering everywhere with so much moral decadence and evil attacks on the family.
6. DILIGENCE. (careful and persistent work or effort.)
We will approach the diligence in Fatherhood as practised by Joseph in two dimensions:
(a) Diligence In Raising A Good Child.
It is not easy to raise godly children if the parents are not diligent. As the marriage bears fruits and children are brought forth into the world, nurturing the marriage itself and the children at the same time may be a burden and physically challenging for any married couple. Jesus like every normal child, behaved like children of his time playing inside and outside the home for the Bible says: “Christ was in every respect the same as a human being.” ( Philippians 2: 7 and Hebrews 2: 17) This statement applies equally to the period of the childhood of Jesus. Thus a father takes control of the child’s upbringing in character formation in his early days, sets standards and ensures compliance. Persistently in love, he would teach the child good moral which includes keeping the law of God. The Bible says, `Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. ‘ (Prov. 22:6.) Joseph was about fourteen generations to Abraham, the friend of God. He belonged to the lineage of people who train their young ones to know God. For God said of Abraham,
”For I have chosen him, so that he will command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, in order that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has promised (Genesis 18:19.)
No wonder Joseph was chosen to father Jesus and he diligently did the work in every standard. We all have seen that a lot has gone wrong in the society due to wrong upbringings. Most fathers shy away from their responsibilities and have misplaced priorities which makes them absent parents, also, the fathers who are present in the lives of their children hardly discus the importance of moral lessons.
The question remains: How are you as a father raising your children today?
b. Diligence In Providing For The Family.
St. Joseph worked hard to provide for his family. He is an example of a diligent worker which a good father should be. No wonder Pope Pius XII in 1955 proclaimed May 1st as his Feast for being Patron Saint of workers around the world. As the head of the family, a responsible father should take under his wing every work it needs for his family to be stable. It takes actual work- physical work, day-to-day efforts and tireless repetition of tasks to carry on with raising one’s family. He provided for Mary and Jesus food, clothing and home within his limited resources as a carpenter. His responsibilities to his family was of high value to him. Let the choice of Joseph fatherhood influence our perception of fatherhood and gradually let it shape the way we handle family and business.
7. EDUCATION/HOME MENTORING.
Joseph probably taught Jesus the craft (see Mark 6:3). His family may have passed the skills of the trade from father to son for generations. The challenge fathers encounter in raising their young ones did not start today, it was also prevalent in the time of Joseph, Mary and Jesus, yet St. Joseph supported Mary, he was physically there for Jesus as well- guiding Him in His steps, sharing with Him life stories, teaching Him not only carpentry but the value and dignity of work, praying with Him everyday and leading Him to a righteous upbringing. Fathers should emulate St. Joseph by teaching their children skills from infancy. Many children don’t even know their father’s occupation talk more of learning the skills. It’s not necessarily becoming what you are but teach them there is dignity in labour. Don’t teach them that food comes from the blues. Be real and honest to them.
8. AN ADOPTIVE FATHER
It is not out of place to say that St. Joseph was more than Christianity’s first step father. The privilege of adoption was given to Joseph by God. By accepting Mary as his wife and naming the child Jesus – the name given to him in the dream- Joseph claimed the divinely born child as his own son by adoption. Fathers must understand that and see to it that the training of every child in their custody be with equal love whether biologically owned or by adoption.
9. A FATHER SHOULD BE KIND, COMPASSIONATE, MERCIFUL AND FORGIVING.
St. Joseph was a compassionate and merciful man. Patiently, he taught Jesus to walk, taking him by the hand; he was for him like a father who raises an infant to his cheeks, bending down to him and feeding him as God did to Isreal (Hosea 11:3-4). He was patient, kind, and forgiving to Jesus. No wonder Jesus must have learnt all those qualities from him.
As a father, you must forgive your child if he erred by what seems wrong to you. Imagine the search for Jesus who stayed back in Jerusalem at 12 after the feast he went with the parents. Joseph and Mary took the pain of a three day journey back to Jerusalem in search of their son. (Luke 2:42-47.). Joseph might not have fully understood Jesus but he forgave him. Fatherhood is a call to give yourself to your families and children at all costs.
That was what Jesus did for us when he died on the cross to redeem us. It’s a testimony.
In summary:
As a father and head of the family like St Joseph, you should thus: lead by example, teach your children how to love by loving them unconditionally, activate their critical thinking skills, help them serve others, share your faith with them through the scripture, pray with them and encourage them to have own faith.
Finally, like St. Joseph, you must be considerate, be diligent, determined, courageous, and exhibit fortitude during life challenges, so that at the end of your life, you wouldn’t have any regrets, as you would have left a legacy and directed your children to follow God’s will.
Blessings.
St. Joseph the worker, pray for us, pray for all fathers.
Fr Evaristus Ifeanyi Emeto